Re: Love Is Blind Season 10, Part Four
Who has two thumbs and wishes this nightmare of a show would end? This guy. *points thumbs at self*
All of the guys look exactly the same. Faded hair on the sides, short beard, left-arm tattoos, and man jewelry, like the guys at the mall kiosks when mall kiosks were cool.
Remember from the earlier 2000s when guy could only wear an earring on the left ear or both, but never on the right? Is it the same with tattoos now?
Anyway.
Episode 6:
Engagement vacation. Everybody hooked up.
Except for Brittany and her guy who wears man-jewelry. Good for her for putting up boundaries. Really, she’s probably the most reasonable of the women based on current available evidence.
Soccer dude was wearing a necklace, so more man-jewelry. He also said on the boat that he wasn’t nervous at all about anything, which means he’s either a liar or too cocky.
Also, he’s on a boat in the ocean. How can he not be nervous? I’ve seen Gilligan’s Island, Titanic, Castaway, most of Lost, at least a month’s worth of Shark Week, I read the Shackleton biography, I watched the Blackfish documentary, and I’ve seen clips of The Little Mermaid reboot that no one asked for.
I’ve been thinking for awhile about Dr. Jessica and I’ve decided that she has mild crazy eyes. Not burn-your-house-down-for-insulting-Friends crazy. Just…noticeable. Also, Chris looks like a discount Frodo Baggins.
I learned a few things at the pool party shindig:
1) Chris has a unbranded khaki hat that I would absolutely wear.
2) The female swim attire seems designed exclusively to create awkward tan lines and HR violations.
3) I would love to see what the alcohol budget is for the show.
4) Mike, Emma’s guy? Shirtless he gives Edward from Twilight a run for his money.
5) I’ll be back. I need to check Amazon for khaki hats.
Brittany and Devonta had a discussion about progressing their physical relationship just so he’ll “feel better about himself.” That’s ridiculous and definitely won’t solve any problems.
I’m going to add this to my folder of anecdotal evidence on why it’s statistically more practical to wait until after marriage for those things.
I’ll also add it to my second folder for evidence of why this show is stupid.
And in light of all of this new evidence, I retract my earlier statement about Brittany being the smartest of the women. Actually no, she still might not be the smartest one, but that probably speaks to how terrible the others all are.
Episode 7:
Big Dumb Oaf (BDO) and Amber:
Get. That. Woman. Some. Hairspray.
Why is her hair always like that? Is it on purpose? Doesn’t this show have hair and makeup people? Does she leave it that untamed while caring for patients at work?
Every new scene it just gets bigger and fluffier and more disheveled.
While touring her house, she got to the snack cabinet and revealed brownie bites. BDO said they were amazing and she was shocked that he had heard of them.
Listen, we have them at my house. We get them in bulk from Costco. They’re fantastic. I would eat my body weight in two-bite brownies if given the opportunity.
This dude is becoming more and more my spirit animal. I wonder if he does Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu…
Trick question. BJJ is like CrossFit. People tell you immediately if they do it.
Vic and Christine:
Oh hey, the producers’ favorite interracial couple are back after not being around for the three episodes.
Vic met Christine’s mom and she seems awesome. She said Vic was too smart to be on the show and gently implied that only idiots do it. Yes, momma Christine, that’s the spirit.
Which also means that even dumber people write serialized blogs about it. *looks around awkwardly*
Beige guy (Connor?) and Bri:
His house looked exactly like a single guy with disposable income lives there. Gaming area, man cave, Christmas tree still up. Did she expect it to look like a designed-for-shipping Scandinavian showroom?
I lost count of the number of times Bri said “Connor” in an exasperated voice. She might’ve been playful…or irritated. I can’t tell.
His door lock needs some serious work though.
Ashely and the soccer guy:
He met her family and she told them a lot of cringy things, like how Alex is now her best friend and knows her even better than her family knows her.
Apparently, her dad is an attorney and grilled him more thoroughly than the steak they were eating. It could’ve been how the show spliced the scene, but it looked like they were rapid-fire questions and Alex came off super slimy and had a quick non-answer for everything.
Her dad asked Alex what qualifies him to be a father and Alex said he was told that, “As soon as that baby shows up in your arms, you’ll sacrifice your life for that baby.”
No, sir. That sentiment should exist very literally as soon as that baby begins to exist, which would be roughly 9 months earlier.
Her dad later said that he didn’t necessarily think Alex was a bad person—just that he didn’t think honesty was his strength.
Nah, papa Ashley, just say he’s a bad person.
Emma and Mike:
Mike sleeps without a shirt, apparently, which is weird.
He still wants kids. She still does not. He’s worried about resentment either way. She continues offering fog instead of clarity.
To be fair, she did say from day one she didn’t want children, even if her reasoning has been inconsistent and hard to follow.
I’ve said before I would be voted off Romance Island immediately.
I hate this show.
Anyway, until next time because I clearly make poor viewing choices.