Re: Love Is Blind Season 9, Part Five
Public Service Announcement: Against all odds—and common sense—we made it.
It’s. Finally. Over. For. Real.
I watched the reunion episode and I 100% regret it. Holy cow, these people are awful for a myriad of reasons. To come full circle, I’ll say it again: How. Are. These. Real. People.
Nothing remarkable happened other than the following handful of things:
Tattoo Dude Bro showed up in church clothes and wasn’t wearing socks again. WHY IS THIS A THING?!
Actually, I’m giving two fouls for every dude bro who went sockless. One foul per foot.
There were also way too many exposed sternums from the women and a generalized abuse of lip filler. I definitely did not consent to see that many clavicles or intermammary regions. They’re all in desperate need of a hoodie. Like, seriously—if you know you have company coming over or you’re going to be televised to millions of people, have the decency to put on a hoodie. Keep warm. Spare the rest of us from your visual assault.
Mr. Glizzy is still a legitimate wiener.
If I ever run for public office, in addition to abolishing daylight saving time, I’ll make it illegal to wear shoes without socks and I’ll ban all lip filler.
Is love blind? I don’t care. I just wish I were blind so I didn’t have to see that awful, terrible, no-good, very bad reunion episode.
And that’s it. We survived Love Is Blind Season 9.
Barely.