Mary Poppins: A Persuasive Poppins Pilliaries Potential Au Pairs
We were watching the original Mary Poppins last night, and I have some questions.
We watch Mary Poppins all the time in our house. It’s crazy how frequently this movie gets played. At one point, we were watching it multiple times per day—until the children discovered that other movies and TV shows exist.
We watched this movie so heavily that Lyla, at age 3, knew 80% of the words to the “Fidelity Fiduciary Bank” song. We were camping last year, and it was raining, so we watched Poppins on the TV in the camper. “Fidelity Fiduciary Bank” came on, and she started singing along quietly to herself, with the correct words and cadence. Obviously, she knows the hits like “Step In Time” and “Chim Chim Cher-ee,” too, but Fidelity Fiduciary Bank? Who actually knows the words to that?
Anyway, all of that to get to this: we love this movie.
And I still have questions—starting with manslaughter.
Near the beginning of the movie, Jane and Michael write a listing for a nanny, then their dad tears it up and throws it into the fireplace. A wind carries the scraps away, never to be seen again… or so we think.
Shortly after, Mr. Banks holds interviews for potential nannies. There’s a huge line of them outside the house, going down the walkway. Suddenly, a strong wind opens all of their umbrellas, and they’re carried away—presumably never to be heard from again, like socks in the dryer or my dignity during family game night while playing Uno.
Enter: the Poppins. Mary comes gracefully floating to the Banks’ doorstep via her umbrella, filling the void that used to be inhabited by potential nannies.
It’s heavily implied that the somehow magical Mary Poppins caused the wind to carry the au pairs away, thereby wiping out her competition to nanny Jane and Michael. A strong power move, for sure.
But what happened to the nannies? Did they end up safely down the street? Did they get blown underneath that falling London Bridge everyone used to sing about? Did they end up in Oz? Did they get blown up into the stratosphere only to plummet to their deaths? Did they end up like that cow from the Twister movie?
What. Happened. To. The. Nannies.
Nobody knows. They’re never heard from again. They just disappeared forever.
Did Mary commit homicide? If she created the wind to ferry her arrival and accidentally blew the nannies away, resulting in their collective untimely—and no doubt terrifying—demise, would it be involuntary manslaughter?
Nannicide? Poppinslaughter? Or, maybe it’s not as nefarious as I think. Maybe it’s just a breezy occupational hazard that’s common among all nannies.
Okay, she probably just took out the competition in a magical, morally ambiguous way, like we all do from time to time, right? But honestly… look at her. Just look at her. She’s absolutely stunning, floats gracefully, sings like a chorus of angels at Christmastime, has an umbrella, and still manages to be warm and nurturing all at once.
Wait. What was I even worried about again? Murderous nanny? Sure, maybe. Utterly captivating and charming? Absolutely. Everything else seems kind of moot now that I think about it.
Man, Mary sure was a catch. I can’t believe she was single. She’d certainly be wifeable.