Re: Love Is Blind Season 10, Part Six
I didn’t watch anything past the first 15 minutes of episode 10. I skipped straight to the Reunion episode.
From what little I saw in episode 10, Kevan and Keya were still there, and Hobo-Baggins tried to slide into Bri’s DMs. Dr. Jess told the other ladies about Hobo-Baggins’s bad behavior, and Amber-with-the-frizzy-hair volunteered to kick his teeth in.
Not to cram in another Lord of the Rings reference, but after that discount-hobbit suggested to the women that they should engage in group sexual activities, I was hoping Connor would tap the Big Dumb Oaf on the shoulder and let BDO go full Hulk-smash on that doofus—like that scene in Return of the King where the elephant things are just flattening people.
Anyway, I tapped out after that and cleansed my palate with the new season of Alone, followed by a rewatch of The Man in the High Castle. I might even run back the Daily Wire’s Pendragon Cycle. Man, that was a good show.
This has been a season of self-love for the contestants.
And personal self-loathing for me.
I made the strong, fearless, and bold decision to skip episodes 10, 11, and 12 and go straight to the reunion, because at this point I don’t think those episodes are critical to plot development, and I don’t think I can physically force myself to watch them.
Reunion:
Is it seals or sea lions that clap and bark at the circus? Whichever it is, that’s what the audience resembles. A bunch of clapping water mammals.
The old host guy and his wife were interviewing everyone, and they brought up Vic’s line—“Even though I can’t see you, I see you”—like it was some kind of profound statement. It’s one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard.
I took the liberty of trying a few variations myself, just to sound deep and insightful:
“Even though I can’t eat, I’m still eating.”
“Even though I can’t feel you there, I feel you there.”
“Even though I’m not big and strong, I’m big and strong.”
Mockery aside, Vic and the blonde lady seem…functional. At least by the very low Love Is Blind standard.
BDO and Amber:
They divorced after four months, and now her upper lip doesn’t move at all. It’s like partial facial paralysis—specifically upper-lip-only paralysis. She looked like a Who from How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Or a Batman villain. Maybe both.
I’ve seen a bunch of screenshots online about “girl power” supporting her during the reunion, and the audience clearly backed her. But based on what was actually shown here, I don’t think BDO was the bad guy in their relationship.
She straight-up admitted to having anger issues and refusing counseling for it. Then she literally yelled and stormed off the stage. I can only imagine what she was like behind closed doors. But yeah, let’s all just clap in girl power solidarity for the dysfunctional crazy lady from the trailer park who would stab you for looking at her trashcans and pretend to ignore how toxic that relationship likely was, in no small part thanks to her.
Then the show continued its predictable plot development: it got even dumber.
Chris—Santa’s angry elf who got rejected from a Hobbit parody—remains a person who is in desperate need of stepping on a Lego.
Honestly, most of the cast falls somewhere on the toolbag spectrum, with the exception of BDO, Vic, and Vic’s blonde lady. But that oversized Harfoot is still the tooliest of toolbags.
Fool of a Took.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: WHERE DO THEY GET THESE OUTFITS?
So much silk. So much satin. So much low-cut everything. So much pancake-batter-thick makeup. So many exposed sternums and clavicles that should’ve remained hidden.
As an aside: do all former contestants have podcasts? Sheesh. I do not care about these people or anything they have to say.
The host lady—whose name I’m sure exists, despite me not remembering it or caring enough to look it up—said they discourage couples from making a decision before the wedding day because they won’t truly know until they’re at the altar.
That is the worst marriage advice I’ve ever heard.
You should absolutely know your answer long before you get to the altar. The ceremony is supposed to be a public celebration of a covenant already decided upon between you, your almost-spouse, and God.
These people are so dumb. And host lady and her husband, who also has a name I don’t recall, are supposed to be the adults in the room.
I don’t remember what Devonta said, but my notes say he has the personality of a taupe wall and likely a matching IQ. I trust past-me on this one.
All of these women are furious at the men for letting them down in various ways, and they seem genuinely shocked that it happened.
I distinctly remember all of them, at some point, saying things like, “He’s my everything. I know he’ll never let me down.”
I also remember me—loudly, repeatedly, and belligerently—declaring to the TV that they would 100% be let down.
Let the record reflect: I called it.
I hate this show.
I am so dumb for spending time on it.
I don’t think any couples other than Vic and Mrs. Vic are even still married. I’m not even sure if those two are. I don’t remember.
I’ll leave you with this:
Much like the State of the Union, this entire episode should’ve been an email.
I need to go find a wall to shove my head through.
Actually, no. I’m going to go rewatch Pendragon Cycle.
You should too. It’s good for the soul.