Let's Digress

The Shared Wedding, One Year Update


Tomorrow, June 14, 2015, will mark one year since Jared and Shelby started a new life journey together. It will be one year since they made that sacred commitment to love and cherish and have and hold and cuddle and communicate and comfort and honor and value and make food for the other, even when they bicker or happen to be disgruntled, and especially during sickness or poorness or richness or health or drought or snow or thunderstorms or better or worse, even to the point where they would forsake all others until death do they part for the rest of forever and ever amen.

Basically, their marriage was kind of a big deal.

For those of you who forgot, smallish brother Alex, who happens to be quite muscular now, and I were the “Co-Best Men.” I am writing this update on behalf of both Alex and I as part of our continuing Best Men duties; Jared and Shelby have no idea about any of this until right now…Um… Surprise guys?

Shelby and Jared are still going strong and still love each other and blah blah blah.

Shelby is still working at that one place of business and is excelling significantly while doing the job of about eight other people. She truly has mastered the art of wearing several hats, both in the workplace and outside of work, and she’s quite the crafty Pinner. MacGyver would be so proud.

Jared is still doing the gym thing and is helping unhealthy people become moderately healthier. He semi-recently had some of those Hamilton Trained t-shirts with the impressively modern and sleek HT logo for sale. Everyone should buy at least two.

Now, for the question everyone has been wondering about:

Is there a Shared Baby on the way yet?!

The short answer is, no, unfortunately.

There have not been any positive indications of Shelby’s impregnation yet, and what little evidence we actually do have is inconclusive at best. There have also not been any sightings or indications of morning sickness, diaper buying, food pureeing, Baby Einstein watching, or abnormal food cravings, from either Shelby or Jared.

Actually, that’s not entirely correct; Jared has abnormal food cravings quite frequently, but he’s been that way since he was little.

However, I do come with gifts of good news and tidings of great joy and something that could be construed as a positive sign.

Jared and Shelby are now proud owners of a German shepherd.

Her name is Tesla. She is adorable and furry and has the intelligence of an average 4-year-old child with the obedience and speed of an amateurishly seasoned racehorse.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *