SANTA MONICA, CA—In recent days, the iconic social media company, Snapchat has come under allegorical fire and literal threat of boycott due to a new discovery of bigotry and intolerance.
We here at the Let’s Digress News Network have sent our ace feminist reporter, Brittany Manchester, to the Snapchat headquarters to get the scoop on that newsworthy ice cream. In her quintessential millennialist manner, she sent us her report in an email.
Disclaimer: In traditional LDNN fashion, we believe in giving you, the reader, unfiltered and unedited material to ensure you get the whole story and are able to come to your own conclusions without our biases slowly snuffing the life out of it, just as Frank Underwood did to that dog during one of the first episodes of House of Cards. Much like that entire show, reader discretion may be advised.
Hello fellow bipedals! (That means people or animals with two legs, for ultimate inclusivity. Unless you are an amputee. Note to self: change the greeting before this sending email.)
I’m just down the street from the Snapchat building hanging out inside of a coffee shop for the second time today. The rage and protests here are literally palpable. Well, the rage and protests inside the coffee shop are. I think they ran out of a chai tea pumpkin spice something.
The rage and protests outside of Snapchat consist of approximately seven people. After I left the coffee shop the first time, I tried talking to a few of them to see what the hubbub was about, but they said I was “obviously intolerant” if I didn’t already know why they were protesting and then one of the more husky-shaped gender-nonconforming individuals slapped my iced americano out of my hand in the name of tolerance.
Ze/she/he literally yelled the words, “In the name of tolerance!” as ze/she/he did it. It was quite offensive, and rather…intolerant, oddly enough.
So now I’m back here again with a second iced americano.
From what the baristas tell me, Snapchat has a gender-swapping filter, which only depicts the male and female genders as options to swap to. They also said the protestors are angry about this because not only do they lack the “full spectrum” of genders one can identify as, but because this seems to imply that there are only two genders in the first place.
Another discovery I discovered is that this group of protesters are the same ones behind the Apple Face ID protests.
I know what you’re thinking, and you’re probably bigoted because of it. Or not. Probably not.
Personally, I’m just going to add this event to my ever-expanding Rolodex titled, Reasons Why We Know There Are Only Two Genders. It’ll go right next to the entry for “B in LGBTQ means bi.” And bi means two, just like it does in bipedal.
I have attached a few sample pictures of this incendiary filter and its chauvinistic deceit.
This story is continuing to develop and we at the LDNN will continue to update it as updates arrive.