Let's Digress

Adam Diesel: No Sock Left Unworn

Well, it finally happened. I went bald last night. Actually, I didn’t. It was a dream I had. Let me back up first and explain the events leading up to it…

I was at home last night doing my usual wind-down routine. My routine pretty much goes like this: Go to bed. Watch Psych (or whatever TV series I’m sucked into) on Netflix until sleepy. Last night was a 2 episode night. So I watched my 2 episodes of Psych and fell asleep.

Oh, I should also mention that I was supposed to go to the gym at 6:30 this morning with Trainer Jarrod. I was planning on it too, but then I woke up at 6 and thought “hey, I can fit in a 10 minute nap before I need to get up.” Well… That 10 minute nap somehow magically turned into 2 hours. Oops. I guess I’ll have to go later today or tomorrow. Probably tomorrow. Or the next day. I’ll burn that bridge later.

Anyway, so I finally wake up at 8 and give Trainer Jarrod a “I think I overslept a little” FaceTime call. He responds with the usual “Aww, did you have a good sleep, Princess? Get your butt down here!” (I think he called me Princess as another term of endearment because I look so adorable when I’m half asleep making FaceTime calls at 8am… Or he could’ve been being sarcastic again. I’ll have to ask him later to make sure) I kindly decline his offer to exercise mainly because I was hungry, but also because I had other things to do.

As I’m picking out which socks I want to sport today, I feel this urge to touch my hair… And then it all comes back to me. I had a dream last night that I went bald. Or was it shaved? I don’t remember. Either way, the end result was me having no hair to keep the top of my head warm. I remember that during the dream I was excited about having no hair because of all the money I would save not having to buy any more hair products. I also remember that I had a slight pang of disappointment because I had just bought 2 giant bottles of conditioner and shampoo from Cousin Sindi (I really did just buy that from her like..a month ago). This isn’t your normal Suave conditioner, mind you. This conditioner is awesome and not stuff you can buy at Walmart; it makes your scalp tingle and it smells like Christmas.

In the dream I was also more muscular than I am now. The best way to describe it would be to put my face on a more muscular Vin Diesel body. And then make the new Adam-Diesel pale and pasty, but not the ginger-pasty. Because I’m not a ginger and I’m definitely not ginger pasty.

That’s all I remember about the dream. I have no idea why I was hairless, why I was so ripped, why I was pasty and not super tan, no idea on any of it.

This dream makes me want to have Cousin Sindi shave my head when I get a haircut in a couple of weeks.

Oh, and in case you’re curious, the socks I ended up sporting today are black and red puma ones. Thank you, TJ Maxx for your awesomely cheap prices on foot-fashion.

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