I Have A Confession To Make…
I have a confession to make.
This has been building up inside of me for years and I think I’m finally ready to air it out and let the whole world know.
Really, I think it’s the perfect time with how the current political climate is along with the legitimatization of all ideologies and the blind acceptance of all thoughts, emotions, inclinations, and ideas that everyone has… Yes, I think it’s finally time to come clean and let it out.
Besides, I’m among friends here, right? You guys would never “yuck my yum,” as the youths say.
Here it goes. I’m finally going to come out and say it.
I hate meander shopping.
There, I finally said it and I don’t feel bad.
I’ll say it again: I absolutely loathe meander shopping. It drives me up a wall. I legitimately hate it so, so much.
Gabby, my mom, the small humans, and I all went meander shopping just the other day. We went to this Covered Bridge Festival event. For those of you who don’t know, the Covered Bridge Festival is basically the illegitimate lovechild of a giant flea market and a yard sale with nearby food trucks that’s all in close proximity to some historic covered bridges that just happen to be aesthetically pleasing to gaze upon in the fall.
There were so many people. So many knockoff items. So much junk.
Even worse though is that none of these people, my own family included, had any idea of what they were actually shopping for. They were just meandering. They were just browsing for “fun” and waiting to see which knockoff beach tote bag, rusty and tetanus-laden pair of hedge trimmers, tacky reclaimed aluminum lawn decoration, discount cotter pin, hand made quilt, customized wooden sign, lemon shakeup, pumpkin flavored ice cream waffle cone, or Amish pretzel tickled their fancy just enough to say, “Oh hey there, you need to buy me.”
It was legitimately one of the least pleasant experiences of my life, right up there with the state fair and the home-and-garden show.
On the upside, it was a good family day and I introduced Lyla to the very legitimate joy of a taxidermy booth. She’s now the proud owner of a real bobcat face, rabbit pelt, and a Build-A-Bear style stuffed axolotl.
Seriously though, I hate meander shopping so, so much. However, I’m a big strong manly man and I love my wife, and she’s the best wife of all wives, so I’ll do whatever she asks of me. Besides, I’ve been reliably informed that going to these terrible, sadistic, overpopulated, cold-in-the-morning-but-too-hot-for-fall-clothes-in-the-afternoon rummage sale gulag-style events are just part of my husbandly duty.
I was not coerced in any way to write that previous paragraph.
Questions? Comments? Concerns? Opinions? Comment below or shoot an email to Adam@LetsDigress.com! And please, be grammatically decent, this is a family website.