Let's Digress

My Day at Starbucks #2

Since school started, I’ve been spending a significant portion of my time and money at Starbucks. Let me put this in perspective for you: In September (2 months ago), I did not have any Starbucks cards. I am now the proud owner of the coveted Gold Card. How many purchases does that require? Well, since you asked, it’s roughly 36 purchases. That’s a lot of coffee and a lot of classic black iced teas with half the sweetener. Oh yeah, I was also at Starbucks yesterday for 6 hours studying and reading a book when I got bored.

My point is, I’m at Starbucks a lot and I’m beginning to see the people patterns. People really are creatures of habit. For example, last Sunday when I was here, this lady and what looks like her daughter came in. The daughter, let’s call her Dana, also brought in an aid-dog, who we’ll call Clyde. Oh, and the mother can be…Gertrude. That sounds fitting, it matches her mullet.

So Dana, Gertrude, and Clyde walk in 1 week ago at about this same time and sit on the couch. Clyde plops his border collie-sized self down on the floor and sleeps while Gertrude and Dana break out their industrial sized extension power cord for their matching HP laptops. Personally, I don’t think they realized that there was an outlet behind the couch and that running their extension cord across the room was unnecessary…But that’s a moot point now.

Oh, and I can’t see any apparent reason for the aid dog. I mean, Clyde’s harness just says “aid dog,” and they’re no obvious problems with Dana. I assume the furry fellow belongs to her anyway, she is the one holding the leash. But nothing seems to be wrong with Gertrude either. Maybe Clyde is one of those seizure dogs! They can like..smell when you’re going to have a seizure and start to bark and stuff. Or he could be one of the diabetes dogs. They’re supposed to be able to smell ketones and then alert you to your impending diabetic doom. …er… ah… I mean emergency. Diabetic emergency. Actually, some humans can smell ketones. It’s a fruity-ish smell emitted from the breath and urine. Funny story, I thought I was having a diabetic issue once because I smelled this fruity stuff from my breath. Turns out, it was just the fruit snacks I was eating. Oops.

Anyway, fast forward to today. The happy trio walk in, and this guy is sitting on their couch. In the very center of it, believe it or not. As soon as the horror of what has just happened registered with them, Gertrude, Dana, and Clyde have a staredown with the couch-sitter. It lasts for about 5 seconds, the four of them just staring. Needless to say, the Couchman won. He won by a landslide. The trio never had a chance. So they unhappily relocated to some cushy chairs in the corner. And to top it off, it looks like they left their extension cord somewhere else.

Now I leave for 2 hours to do some errands and whatnot.

*fast forward 2 hours*

I’m back at the Starbucks again. Can you guess who has migrated to the couch with an orange extension cord? Yup. This cracks me up more than it probably should. Ok, I have a picture I need to photoshop without using photoshop now.


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