Let's Digress

Shark Eyes

Well, I’m sitting in Starbucks yet again doing homework. It’s 4pm, and the joint is crowded.

My table is taken. I know, it’s both shocking and upsetting. It’s taken by business people conducting a business meeting who have no business sitting at my non-business related table. Next to them, the power strip table is filled with teenagers. They’re doing more talking than studying and it looks very counterproductive.

I’m sitting on the couch this time. Yeah, it’s that packed. There’s a round table in front of me with 3 middle-aged women looking at 3-ring binders with papers strewn about. They’re probably planning the wedding they never had or something.

[Brace yourselves, I’m getting ready to stereotype and make accusations and/or judgments based on those stereotypes]

To the left is another round table. It has an older lady sitting at it; she’s probably in her mid-50’s. She’s wearing a Real Tree camouflage coat, a tie-dye shirt, sweatpants, and has pink glasses. No makeup, no jewelry. She has no drink, no Starbucks-esk food. No nothing. She’s sitting by herself, and she looks very irked and bored.

The look in her eyes is death; like a shark’s eyes, dead and lifeless like.

Judging by her clothing, the anxious way she’s sitting, and how she keeps staring at the doors, I’m going to guess she’s waiting on someone. Probably a male escort. (I’m not sure yet. I’ll watch as the situation progresses.)

On my far left are more window seat tables. One has an aesthetically pleasing blonde lady (she’s engaged, and is bringing the denim jacket style of clothing back); the other has more annoying female high schoolers. Oh, it sounds like “Devon” just dumped one of the newly licensed band geeks over the phone. Classy, Devon, classy.

I propped my feat up on this very nice coffee table in front of me so I can type more efficiently. I think my foot propping just offended one of the middle-aged women. She saw me obnoxiously plop my feet on the coffee table and then she gave me this look of disgust and irritation. Imagine Mr. T’s face as he eats sour gummy worms and old deviled eggs at the same time, that was the look I got. So, I did what any mature 23-year-old guy would do, I took my feet down… And then I picked them right back up and moved them over the table a little more than necessary. After about 10 seconds of unnecessary foot fidgeting I found a comfy spot for them.

Oh, SharkEyes just got up and walked over to the middle-aged women. Snap! This could be bad, just like that one scene from Transformers 2.

Apparently one of the middle-aged ladies is a business/tax/planner or something of some sort and she was supposed to have a meeting with SharkEyes. But instead of the meeting she’s having afternoon coffee with her easily disgusted friends. Wow, she was sitting there all bored and stuff for a good 30 minutes. I feel kina bad about my shark eyes comment now… Maybe I should take it out later. Probably not. Dang it, I was sure she was waiting on a male escort. Hmm… I thought that jacket was supposed to be the female version of the classic “man with bright flower sitting at bar” as a marker for a woman. That was a little anticlimactic.

Ok, study break over. Back to reading textbook.

[New study break]

Well, the entire place emptied out and then filled up with people again. This is craziness and I miss my table.

Really, this is a boring day at Starbucks. I’ll update this entry more as things develop while I’m here.

Oh my, they’re playing an indie-jazz rendition of Gimme All Your Lovin’ by ZZ Top. This is horribly wrong and upsetting.

Study break over again.



Well, Starbucks was empty for a good hour… And then tons of people showed up again. So I left and went to the gym. It was painful, and it still smelled the same as it did when I was there a 3ish weeks ago.

Trainer Jarrod was there gettin’ his “swoll” on. I’m not sure what this “swoll” is, but he had it apparently. He was lifting some crazy heavy weights and then dropping them loudly while grunting because he wanted to be dramatic or because his arms gave out or something. I’m not really sure what all happened… The 64 minutes I was there was a painful blur.

But just for the record, it is possible to use an ab machine as a leg workout. Oops.

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