Let's Digress

The Shared Wedding: The Reception, part 1

The Reception, part 1.

This is where the fun happened.

The ceremony was over.

The loud music started.

And the dessert table opened.

Complete with dessert-type food.

My jacket was removed and thrown somewhere, the sleeves rolled up, collar unbuttoned, tie loosened; my casual-yet-formal-and-awesome look was a huge success.

Ok, even if it wasn’t a success at all, it still felt like one. So it counts. I have pictures to prove it.

As the receiving line and hand shaking was coming to a close, I had one thing in mind: Go. Find. Zach.

I’m not sure why that was my primary objective; I had other things in mind also, but that all kind of fogged over.

I started to sprint joyously down the hill to where the tables were scattered across the lawn. I found Zach’s table and realized something odd: Zach was sitting with people. My cousins were on the far side of the table and on the side closest to me were Zach, his wife Kristen, and Jess.

I had three thoughts float through my head as I got within 20 feet of the table: 1). Why is Zach sitting with people? Who are they? 1.5). Oh! He’s wearing the blue dress shirt that compliments his fire-orange hair. I should compliment him later. 2). Who is the attractive blonde sitting next to his wife? Is she single? 3). Oh yeah, she came here with me. Duh. That’s a very nice colored shirt Zach’s wearing. Complimentary colors are awesome!

Don’t make fun of me; it was 5 in the evening and I hadn’t had food since 10 that morning. We were promised pre-wedding lunch, but that never happened…. But it’s ok, I’m not bitter about it. At all. Even though they didn’t feed me like they promised… Ok, maybe I’m a little bitter. All I wanted was fried tilapia and peanut butter cookies. Is that too much to ask for? Really?

Anyway, bitter tangents aside…

I made a stop at the drink area to get some Dr. Pepper to hopefully raise my blood sugar enough so I wouldn’t say too many embarrassing things in front of everyone.

It partially worked.

I said hi to everyone at the table, used my Best Man Cam to record some stuff, and completely forgot to compliment Zach’s shirt color choice.

I feel kind of bad now. I should email him. *opens Gmail tab*

The email has been sent. I feel much better.

I was informed that since I was Co-Best Man that meant I was part of this “Bridal Party” thing, which meant I had to sit with the “bridal party.” So I had to move spots. I was a little upset. After all, I had just gotten comfortable at the table with Zach, Jess, Kristen, and my assorted cousins.

After only 6 minutes of whining, I moved.

Everybody ate food. It was chicken something-or-other, beef something-or-other, and some other something-or-other. It had lots of flavors and textures. Everybody loved it. Blah blah blah food stuff. It just wasn’t the peanut butter cookies and fried tilapia I was hoping for.

After the eating was done, it was time for the speech. Oh yes, the speech.

Maid of Honor Kaitlyn gave her speech first, after all, it was ladies first and whatnot. It was awesome; definitely the happy emotional tearjerker everyone needed to hear. It was great!

Then it was Alex’s and my turn. There were no tears involved…except tears from laughter. I stood up, made a bad one liner about Jared copying my outfit (which I totally rocked better, by the way), and then I acted all unprepared and flustered at poor quality of my own speech.

I may have mentioned something about “winging it,” and I may have thrown my note cards up and behind me dramatically. They stayed on the dance floor for the remainder of the evening. I’m glad I wrote appropriate things on them. That could’ve been awkward.

I asked Alex for help, on the spot, “winging it.” We weren’t winging it. It was all planned. Alex stood up and walked onto the dance floor. He conveniently had a microphone in his hand, too. See, proof we planned it.

He handed me a new stack of cards.

We told some story about Jared and a castle present from a Christmas years ago and tied it to the wedding with Shelby being his queen. It was hilarious.

6 minutes and a tail question later, we were done. Yes, I really did ask him what kind of tail he would have at his wedding, publically, in front of everyone.

He said he wanted a opossum tail so he could hang from trees upside down. Except that’s only a myth; they don’t actually hang from trees upside down. Sorry, Jared.

I was moderately shocked to find out that I had actually enjoyed speaking publicly like that, being the introvert that I am (3 cheers for INFJ’s!). Actually, when we finished my first thought were lyrics from the popular song by DJ Khaled: “All I do is win, win, win, no matter what, what, what.” Except in my head it was much slower and more dramatic. Like each word was it’s own sentence. Much more dramatic. And the Ludacris part was sung by Hugh Jackman.

Maid of Honor Summer gave her speech after ours, which was also another happy sappy teary one. I wonder if there’s a connection between women and happy sappy things… Maybe that’s why they like Nicholas Sparks and that Ryan Gosling fellow. I’ll have to start a Facebook survey and find out later.

That covers the first 1/3ish of the reception.

More to come later.

(Video of the speech)

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