Let's Digress

BREAKING–Statement Released from Horton the Elephant

JUNGLE OF NOOL—Horton the elephant released a statement earlier today while relaxing in a pool at his residence in Nool. 

After coming under fire recently from progressive Nool state representatives and other Big-Life activists demanding an apology from Horton for his Small-Life altruism, Horton himself released a statement to the Let’s Digress News Network during a Skype call. 

“Look, I didn’t always believe life could exist that small. I thought life only existed for those of us who are big, and tall. Quite frankly, I’m appalled at this anti-science caterwaul.”

The elephant went on to elaborate that he didn’t always believe life existed on that small of a scale. He explained, “I thought life was just for us larger folks. But the more I researched, the more I learned that kind of thinking was all just a hoax.” 

When asked if he was going to capitulate to their incensed demands and issue an apology, he said, “I will absolutely not apologize. A life is a life, regardless of size.” 

Horton the elephant best known for his humanitarian efforts and singletrunkededly saving the lives and livelihoods of countless small Nool residents. 

This is a developing story and we at the LDNN will update you as the news updates us. 

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