Let's Digress

BREAKING–President Biden to Issue Executive Order to Thirteenth Amendment

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a press conference earlier this week, President Biden revealed his plans on how to make the country safer from criminals, namely by issuing executive orders that would make legally purchased firearms illegal, instantly turning millions of law-abiding citizens into felons. 

President Biden explained that this is made possible partly due to an overreaching Federal Government and partly because “no amendment to the Constitution is absolute,” he said.

During the Question and Answer phase of the press conference, President Biden was asked if he had any additional plans for altering more Founding Documents of the United States since he is already shaking things up. 

President Biden responded by saying, “Actually, yes! I’m glad you asked. Since no amendments are absolute, I plan on issuing more executive orders to those amendments, starting with altering the thirteenth one next. Don’t worry, though, folks, slavery will still be illegal unless you’re planning to own someone who has been determined to be dangerous, of low intellect, less-than-human, of a minority race, or—.” 

Before the President could finish his answer, Jen Psaki abruptly pushed him away from the lectern, startling his beloved German shepherd, who then bit a staffer. Again. 

This is a developing news story and we at the LDNN will update you as the news updates us.  



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